Journey of Effortless and Colorless

The world was never 2D black or white, at least it seemed like. Balance is important, and sensation is important. I have been living my whole life thinking about eternity and continuity. I am planning to wonder, wander, and ponder around. I am trying to live in the moment, trying not to forget the old saying, Memento mori, Amor fati, Carpe diem. With more experience, learning and understanding more, of its importance. I believe in the power of stories. In my observation, everlasting thing has been consistent, yet not constant. It is abstract, though simple if one does not hinder their imaginations. Effortless and colorless never meant to hide its power. Who created the story is the only one who has a potential to understand, the full details and who can decide the direction of their story, though one should be cautious of any narrow-sighted views.

In every action I output, I try to be “conscious.” Every single person or event I met or encountered in my life created a ripple either small or large. A small ripple can be large, and vice versa. It all depends on the circumstances and contexts, and hence, one should not dare to assume what is not theirs. I appreciate all the turbulences. Among many influences, in particular, I want to thank Murakami Haruki, W.E.B. Du Bois, and René Descartes for their influence on this style of writing and thought process. I believe in the power of stories. I hope you care to the details of my story. One puzzle piece is not enough to get the full picture, yet you need every single one of them.

Others cannot exist, if there is no self. Similarly, the world cannot exist, before community: group, combination of self and others. There is a set order to that. I would doubt if one argues against. I like to put things to their extremes just to see how things flow, to fully expose my potentials. I like bending things until just before, it seems to start failing. It gives me certainty if I know the limits. Some degree of certainty makes things easier without compromising too much.

An everlasting question is “what makes humans unique.” A derivative is “what is consciousness.” Another derivative is “what are differences between being alive and dreaming.” Starting from derivatives, I can easily get lost, but starting from the origin, I tend not to get lost, with trying to remembering the intention. Intentions are intended to be remembered. Detail-oriented and detail-driven are different. Caring for the details exponentially expands the possibility to learn.

Imagine that I am lying on my bed. I am telling you that my eyes are closed, and I am preparing myself to enter another world. But, I created this world. Unlike in the real world, certainty cannot exist: open to any potentials. Rules can be confusing, but if you just follow, they are not. In this world, time is like a rubber band. I can stretch it as much as I want, so I should be careful because it is easy to, lose the sense of time. A lot can be done in this time, when time in the real world has not moved, even a second, or even an hour.

To me, the real world is moving too fast. Overwhelming waves of, information is flooding every second. I need to have an ability to pick out what is important because there are too many things to store, if I try to store everything. I need to store only important things to me, so that I can pull out whenever I need to. Looking forward, but also backward, it is important to approach this strategically, for the better of myself and others. Others can be easily extended to world, if it is the right others. The real world, unfortunately, is not under my control. Are there any things that are under my control? Yes, this world that I created would be, if I am cautious enough. I try to use both worlds or spaces, wisely, as time is precious. I like to use the benefits of time in this world, for preparing myself in the real world, but I try hard not to lose, connections. I learned that if I let things flow, I earn much freedom, and I enjoy that freedom. I feel like this freedom could be a key to my original question.

Because I like to complicate things as much as I can in this world, I easily lose the sense of time. To live, to have an impact on the world, I need to maintain the connections. I believe sensation is the connection. That is the only difference I can think of. Because I am constantly doubting whether I am in the world, or this world. There has to be a reason to be alive in the world, otherwise this world sounds more tempting to me. Can both, however, exist without their interdependence? Why does it matter? Memento mori, hence Carpe diem. I think like this now, but I have to leave room in my logic, for unpredictable changes.

When everything seems to travel forward, I like to travel backward, to wander about the meaning of eternity. I like to keep things simple in the world by keeping them honest and shortening the time between the idea of execution and the physical execution, because I tend to overcomplicate in this world. I enjoy the sensation and the feeling of keeping balance in the world, and I enjoy freely floating, effortlessly, in this world. I would like to believe Amor fati because it reduces a degree of freedom in the world, since I have access to unrestricted freedom in this world. I want to effortlessly float around in the world, through Memento mori, by Carpe diem.

I am a story collector and an abstract thinker. I dream of becoming effortless and colorless, who are invisibly powerful, yet eternal, at least it seems like.